I’d forgotten about all the worrying you do with a newborn. Of course I still worry about Matilda, that’s never going to end is it? But it’s different now with her, the fundamental things I know are ok. I know she’s eating well, sleeping, is happy, is developing. Instead I worry she’ll fall and hurt herself or I’ll lose her when she starts walking.

With Henry it’s different, he’s so small and vulnerable. These first few weeks are so important to his development and yet you have to try to interpret his behaviour to know if he is happy or not.

So we worry, is he getting enough to eat? Is he too hot or too cold? It’s been really hot so is he getting enough liquids? Does the lady of the manor’s milk have enough calories in? Is he crying because he has wind? Or is he still hungry? Or just tired and grumpy?

Seriously even a sensible person can send themselves mad can’t they? And there was me thinking it would be easier the second time around. But aside from having more tricks and techniques to try it really is starting afresh. Having to relearn what he does when he’s hungry, what the cry for change my nappy is rather than I’m tired. With Matilda it’s second nature and that not knowing with Henry is horrible.

But right now we are worrying about one thing. His weight. He only lost 5% in the first 3 days which is great, feeding seems to be going well and he’s sleeping as much as any newborn does. But he hasn’t put a single gram of weight on since then, hasn’t lost any either mind.

So now we worry, is there something wrong with him or is he just a slow grower? Why isn’t breastfeeding being effective if it looks like it’s working? Why? Why? Why?

Today he’s being weighed again, if he still hasn’t put on weight then the doctors start getting more concerned. Until then I’m getting as many calories as I can into the lady of the manor and hoping. We’re also topping him up with some formula to help him along, not what we wanted but needed.

So please keep your fingers crossed for my little dude. I’m desperate for this to work out for the lady of the manor, she loves breastfeeding too much for it not to.

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