Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

Mad world

For someone who is quite happy on their own I really don’t do work trips very well. I very quickly end up melancholy and reflective, the downside of too much time to yourself to think? Travelling is always tiring which doesn’t help of course and I’m really not good at making polite conversation with people who I’m not really interested in. A life in sales definitely doesn’t await me.

This week I’m in Morocco for work, which while a very nice hotel (and most definitely not how the locals live) it’s not home. It’s not where my children are, it’s not where the lady of the manor is and unfortunately it’s also not the home of high speed broadband so no face time calls for me.

These trips remind me of the choice we as a family have made; I sell myself to capitalism and in return the lady of the manor can be at home with the children every day. Aside from winning the lottery so we can both be at home this is the perfect situation.

But sometimes being on this side of that deal doesn’t always feel so great. Sometimes the reality of that decision bites. Perhaps none more so than when visiting a country like this, the hour long transfer from the airport took us past run down buildings, people walking along busy roads and farmers herding hungry looking cows and sheep across fields. Whereas we drive into a nice resort hotel with pristine grass and as much food as you can eat. It’s here you realise the life choices you’ve made to get the lifestyle you want.

I feel very fortunate to have a job that allows us to live the way we do; sure we don’t have any real savings and the week before pay day can be tough but really we are ok. I also am proud of who I work for, while we may of course be about making profit we are also a very ethical company and one that does good things in the world with no profit motive like help educate teachers in the 3rd world.

So is this enough? Is it enough to offset the fact that capitalism has taken part of my soul? Right here and now it doesn’t feel like it. Getting home and seeing the smiling faces of my 2 monsters and giving the lady of the manor a hug it might feel a little better.

For now I will have to make do with a morning run along the beach. Perfect food for the soul.

Thanks for reading.

Moroccan beach


  1. I imagine you feel the same as H does. Her being away from the kids during the day means I don’t have to be. It must be tough.

    But if you enjoy your job, most of the time and feel secure then I’d say you’re pretty lucky.

    • Definitely glad I have managed to find a job I enjoy (but don’t love) and pays the bills. Someones the reality of that choice can hurt though.

  2. It’s a really interesting question you pose. Any time I feel a bit gloomy about our situation I do have to remind myself how fortunate we are, to live in the country we do, with the security that brings. My ethical questions are often linked to where we spend our money, Gareth earns a fairly low wage working in a school for kids who’ve been excluded from main stream education, it means we can’t shop as ethically as I’d like or be as charitable, but in other ways I know we do a lot of good in the world.

    • Yep in the grand scheme of things it’s really not a bad choice to have to make. Like a lot of people I love to be able to combine that security with a job I’m really passionate about. Few people achieve that though I guess.
      Know what you mean on the ethical piece though, we buy all meat and veg locally that is free range etc but then I’ll happily buy cheap clothes.

  3. OH has always hated working away from home, which he has to from time to time but I hope the fact that it pays for all the fun times that we have together as a family helps to sweeten the bitter taste as he drives away.

  4. It’s funny how being away from home makes you appreciate what you’ve got isn’t it? We’ve been on a few holidays like this and I feel really sick as I drive past the shanty towns and on to our lovely 5* hotel with wonderful surroundings. Interesting to hear the ‘dad’s view’ here…us mums often feel like we’re the ones who have it bad but actually….this doesn’t sound all that either!

    • Being a parent away on these trips isn’t ever easy is it? Not sure it classes as being worse than the parent stuck at home on their own though 🙂

  5. Helloitsgemma

    March 5, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Unfortunately, capitalism took all of our souls. There is little way out, unless you live a mor subsistence type of life, very basic but maybe fulfilling in different ways. Like the lives of those people you saw st the side of the road. Basic, yes. Poor, How do we really measure wealth. I bet their food is simpler, there communities stronger. Love this post. Reflecting on the differences, doing the best you can. That’s good living. That’s keeping your soul in tact. You do that.

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