Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

Discussing willies with a toddler

“I like your willy daddy”

Not quite the conversation I was expecting to have with Matilda when I came out the shower but as a modern man I’m not uncomfortable discussing these things, they are perfectly natural after all.

So I replied with a ‘thank you’ and started to get dressed.

“Henry has a willy too daddy”

“Yes, yes he does, that’s because he’s a boy”

“I don’t have a willy”

(can you see we’re a bit obsessed with willies at the moment and what makes boys and girls different?)

“Do you not Matilda? Is that because you are a girl like mummy?”

“Yeeeessss” *starts inspecting her bunny* (to be clear I’m talking about a toy bunny here, this isn’t our name for her lady bits)

“Bunny doesn’t have a willy either”

“No? Is that because she’s a girl”

“Yes, she does have a bum though”

Is this what it feels like to home school your children? Modern man I may be but this is beginning to stretch my natural English resistance to discussing things ‘down there’. I can feel the sweat beginning to form on my brow, I was not prepared for this conversation so young and definitely not when feeling a little exposed wearing just my boxer shorts. So I decide distraction is the solution to avoid going any further down this path.

“shall we go and watch Postman Pat”


  1. I remember that phase: you get used to it! If you can get past the embarassment it can be hilarious. 🙂

  2. *chortle* This is SO true in our house too. Children’s honesty and openess is refreshing eh? Perhaps a little more refreshing than you’d expected though!

    • Just glad it was at home and not the swimming pool changing rooms 🙂

      • sabrina montagnoli

        February 11, 2014 at 10:32 pm

        I have the story of it happening in the swimming pool changing rooms! Rather loudly asking if he could touch first my breasts and when I said no then if he could touch my penis when we had the first explanation of the difference between boys and girls.

  3. Ha ha! Yes, we’ve had the same questions and theories presented to us. Apparently, “mans and boys and babies have them and ladies wee out of their bums.” Glad you didn’t add a picture to this post…

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