Her eyes told me all I needed to know, no words were needed. We’ve been here before and I know what comes next, doesn’t make it any easier of course.
The thing that every parent-to-be knows is a risk but never expects to happen to them has happened. The thing that you soon realise has actually happened to most parents but is never talked about. A name never spoken unless in hushed tones.
But we should talk about it. Miscarriage is a bastard with a capital B. The darkest of days as a parent. Where once there was hope, expectation and excitement there is now nothing. A gaping hole where you expected your son or daughter to be but you’ll never know what they were like.
But it feels surreal, 3 weeks is only just enough time to start getting used to the idea of being a dad again, I don’t have that physical bond that the lady of the manor feels. I want to feel the loss and attachment, but it has to mostly come through her grieving and pain. If I can take the burden for some of that pain then I will in an instance of course but otherwise I feel a little lost.
You may have only been a few weeks old my teeny tiny boy (for the lady of the manor assures me you were a boy) but you were still ours and we shall live our lives wondering what might have been.
December 17, 2013 at 8:31 am
Big man hugs dude. Horrible news.
December 17, 2013 at 2:01 pm
So sorry.
I too have suffered a miscarriage, so can totally empathise.
Hugs to you both x
December 17, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Ben, I’m so sorry to hear this. It is something many of us have experienced and understand the loss and pain and all those crappy thoughts and feelings that swirl through your head. I hope you and your lovely wife still have a special Christmas treasuring those gorgeous kiddies of yours and saying a special prayer for the little one lost.
Xx
December 17, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Mate, I’m really sorry to hear this. We went through it too and it’s truly horrible. Big hugs to you all, there’s nothing more to say really.
December 17, 2013 at 9:03 pm
So sorry to read this Ben x
December 17, 2013 at 9:05 pm
So sorry to hear this. Can’t imagine what it feels like. Thoughts with the two of you
December 17, 2013 at 10:50 pm
You are so right that it is only when you tell people about it that you realise it has happened to many. I had 2 miscarriages between my first and 2nd and now have 3 healthy girls. Tough times – Talk, cry, hug and hope x
December 17, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Really sorry to read this and hope you are able to find comfort at this time for you and your family. Thoughts are with you all.
December 18, 2013 at 7:03 am
So sorry to hear this mate. It’s horrible news and I know that words can’t really say much at times like these. Big hugs from us all to all of you.
December 18, 2013 at 10:11 am
Really sorry to hear your bad news. Thinking about you all