Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

Toilet cubicle ghosts

Warning; this post contains toilet based humour, if you are about to eat or of a nervous disposition you are advised to proceed with caution. Side effects may include laughter, vomiting and disgust.

Picture the scene; you walk into the toilets at work to, you know, drop the kids off, and head towards the cubicles. There are 3 cubicles in these toilets of which one is occupied so you head for the vacant one at the other end (no one ever uses the cubicle next door do they? that’s just bad toilet etiquette).

You take your seat and get on with the job in hand.

A few minutes ensue as it’s best not to rush these things isn’t it? Especially when there isn’t a toddler trying to open the door and see what you are doing. During these few minutes there isn’t a single sound from the occupied cubicle.

Not a sound.

Not a single breath, fidget, rustle of clothing.

You mind starts whirring. Perhaps the door looks looked but actually isn’t? No way to test that because you’re not going to try and push the door are you? Maybe the person has passed out from the exertion? Again I’d rather wait for someone to notice a missing person than ask if they’re ok.

So what now?

Well you will of course do a sneaky look under the cubicle from the sinks to make sure there are some feet visible. This time there are. But who does that? Who sits there quieter than a mouse listening to you go to the toilet? What are they hiding exactly? It’s no secret what they’re doing so why not get on with it?

To be honest it freaks me out a bit that they just sit there. Next time I may well bang on their cubicle door in the style of Sheldon.

That’ll show them.

1 Comment

  1. HA! I totally relate to this, how funny!!! I hate the silent toilet occupiers as well. But I try to reason that they’re probably just distressed that someone has come in when they’re there and they ca no longer make their usual sounds… banging on their door would be funny, but maybe mean if they’re the nervous ones! 😉 Do you ever leave the toilets then watch to see who comes out next?

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