Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

Looking pretty for BritMums Live

I am not fashionable, not now, not ever. In fact I get more excited by a new Gore-tex jacket than this seasons chunky knit cardigan. Don’t forget I’m the man who wore the same pair of shoes almost every day to work for 5 years.  My shopping generally consists of an ‘annual’ shopping trip when I travel to California for work. An hour in an outlet mall and I can get enough clothes for at least 6 months for less than £200.

I wear Gap jeans and buy them without even trying them on because I know they’ll fit. Throw in a few large Quiksilver t-shirts, a couple of smart pairs of trousers from Banana Republic and I’m pretty much done. But as my wife keeps telling me I am only 30, perhaps I should care what I wear a little more and dress my age and not like an American. It’s a short step from there to elasticated waists after all.

So it was that yesterday I found myself in Next changing rooms trying to pull slim fit chinos over my runners thighs with the Lady of the Manor outside ready to make judgement. The 34″ waist ones which should fit I could barely get past my knee, why exactly do people want to wear clothes that they have to fight their way into? Are they throw away clothes that you cut off after one use? And it’s just plain weird not having a boot cut leg to cover part of your shoes.

But I did make some purchases, £100 worth in fact which is quite amazing for me. Then I got home and ordered a polo shirt from Boden (more my middle class style I reckon). I know, crazy. I don’t know what came over me. But get this today I’ve only gone and bought new shoes to go with said purchases from Next. NEW BLOODY SHOES. What is happening to me? A whole new outfit for an event, that has happened since I tried on my suit 1 day before a wedding a realised my waist had ‘expanded’ in the year since I’d last worn it.

Now all I ask is that you, yes YOU, when you see me at Britmums Live you have to tell me how great I’m looking. So youthful and trim. Otherwise I’m running out of there and heading for the nearest Marks and Spencer’s to buy myself something comfortable.

P.S Part of my panic is I’m a finalist in the Brilliance in Blogging awards which will be announced in the Friday night. Now there is almost zero chance that I’m actually going to win but just in case I thought I’d better look presentable.


  1. This makes me smile. I too live in boot cut jeans because there should be no other type. Slim fit, skinny, tapered or straight leg are not good in my opinion 🙂

    I’ve only just moved from Gap to Firetrap as they are a better fit.

    Good luck with the award!

  2. Ha! You’ve become a metrosexual. I’m wearing my leopardskin posing pouch. And that is all.

  3. You’re giving us girls a run for our money. Looking forward to meeting you and seeing you in your smart new look 😉 And good luck for Friday night x

  4. Im sure you’ll look very dapper darling

  5. WOOHOO you’re going to Britmums!

  6. I am sure you will look devine!

  7. Nickie-Typecast

    June 18, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    oohh are you going to be there?? Cool!!

  8. Hi, mind if I say hello on Friday night as a fellow (nominated) dad blogger? I could do with a bit of dad-blogger solidarity I think!

    B’s Dad

  9. Good luck in the awards. Everything I’m wearing is at least four years old. Your wife would think me a disgrace.

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