Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

The day the dog wee’d on an antique chair

Yes, that’s right, almost the most expensive wee in history. Yesterday the lady of the manor and I went to Shepton Mallet to an antiques and collectables fair. Given that we now live in a Victorian house we’re trying to buy older furniture rather than Ikea flat packs. So off to the fair we go and as an added bonus we’re allowed to take the hound, which as any dog owner will know makes life a lot easier.

An Arm Chair (Louis XVI.)

Image via Wikipedia

So picture the scene, we walk into the fair dog trotting at our side and we start perusing the stands. As we walk along we stop to look at some tables and out of the corner of my eye I catch Bracken cocking his leg. I yank his lead quickly but too late, the deed has been done and a rather lovely antique arm chair now has a little bit of wee at the bottom. Before I can even contemplate either a) legging it or b) cleaning it before some notices a rather pissed off stall owner appears.

What can you really say in this situation? I apologised profusely and offered to clean it off, the owner however was demanding I buy it. As bad as I felt though, there was no way I was paying £325 for a chair that wasn’t even that nice. So a bit of a stand off ensued, we apologised and helped clean it while he kept ranting. Thankfully he eventually calmed down a little and we walked (quickly) away, with him telling us to put the dog back in the car (on a bright sunny day? I think not). So we then spent the next 2 hours avoiding that part of the fair and constantly worrying what he was going to use for his next toilet.

The clear lesson learned here is that if you want to train your dog to wee in particular place then just put an antique arm chair there. Simples.

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