As a bona fide grumpy old man finding 5 phrases that annoy me is a piece of cake, in fact the challenge is picking just 5. If any of you work in an office you will no doubt be familiar with office language, words and phrases that don’t get used anywhere else. In fact if you use them outside the office people will look at you like you are mental. But I have resisted the urge to include all of them here to leave room for some other pet hates.

So here’s my top 5

  1. Give me a ballpark number; what exactly does this mean? If you are using the metaphor of a ballpark is that supposed to mean it’s close to the real number? I’m no expert but I reckon a ballpark is probably pretty big
  2. Lets take it offline; a common phrase during a meeting but just makes me imagine the people being powered down like robots and then discussing it via brain waves as they are plugged in to charge overnight
  3. Any sentence that ends in ‘yeah‘; you know how young people (told you I was an old man) talk and always end in year. WTF is that all about? Honestly we don’t need to give our agreement with every single thing you say.
  4. Where’s it to?; this is a Bristolian classic, instead of saying where is it, they say where’s it to. Drives. Me. Mental.
  5. I didn’t do nothing; so you did something then did you? Morons. Seriously, I’m not expecting the queens English but let’s try and at least speak in proper sentences that actually make sense.

That felt pretty good. If you want to see more pop over to Kate Takes 5.