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All men have been there, that moment when the love of your life opens their Christmas present in front of you and instead of an expression of pure happiness you can tell that you have right royally screwed up.
You’ve spent weeks of thought and contemplation, listened for hints about what they might want, talked to their family and friends for advice and then scoured the internet for the best deal. You’ve been to the shops in your lunch break and found the perfect hiding place in the house where they won’t find the present until the big day. You’ve even managed to wrap it so it doesn’t look like a 5 year old did it.
Yet still despite all that effort they never do quite appreciate you buying them a new kettle do they? Which really is just a bit ungrateful isn’t it? After all they always go on about how much they love tea and you even bought them some of Twinnings finest tea bags AND a new mug to go with it.
What more can a person want?
Apparently a lot more. They smile politely and say how lovely it is but you know that you are going to be reminded of this moment for a long time to come. The same apparently goes for a cute pink milk pan for warming milk up perfectly for those milky cups of coffee. The lady of the manor tells me that anything with a plug attached is not a present, even if it is a Kitchenaid. Not entirely sure when she thinks I’m going to pop to the shops and buy here one of those ‘just because’ though?
So I have been thinking very carefully about this years Christmas present for her.I could buy perfume, but that’s a bit dull. Then I thought about buying clothes, but unless we’re talking running clothes I have no clue what to buy. So I had the perfect idea, it can’t possibly go wrong, I’m going to buy her a puppy. It’s perfect, the children will be entertained playing with it, Bracken will enjoy the company and maybe it’ll satisfy that maternal urge to have another baby….