So I have a sibling theory, based on very scientific research consisting of having children and having siblings. It’s a theory developed and honed during many hours of tedious commuting each day. That’s almost the same as being published in the Lancet right?
Here it is, brace yourself, each new child you have is more intelligent than the last. Got that. Clearly you’ll all agree so can I stop there? You want some justification and evidence? Okay then here it is:
First my siblings, I am 1 of 5 children, 4 boys and a girl. My youngest brother, and it pains me to say this, could well be the most intelligent of us all. Or at least his exam results so far say that he is (I do keep reminding him that we all know they are getting easier though). He is also infuriating talented at sports, I can play rugby and run but beyond that I am pretty useless. I’ll give any sport a go but don’t have a lot of success. He on the other hand seems to be able to do most things with ease. Bastard.
The second comprehensive piece of evidence is my own dear children. Now Matilda is an intelligent girl, too damn clever some of the time, she has great fine motor skills and learns new things amazingly quickly. But so far at least Henry is hitting milestones first, 16 weeks old and he’s already rolling over, he smiled and laughed earlier and is put him on his front and he’s almost crawling.
I think as a parents make more children (we’ll get no more graphic than that, my mum reads this) they get better at it. Better at picking the best sperm that is no the actual act itself, that’s a bonus side effect. They hone the design, getting one step closer to perfection each time. Which makes you feel sorry for all those only children doesn’t it? In reality they are just prototypes for a product that never made it to production.
So what can we take away from this ground breaking theory? Well firstly it’s only right that you have more than one child so that the first born can see the contribution they have made to the design process. Secondly if you are the first born accept your place in the world and that the best you can hope for is being part of the ‘best freaks’ on X-Factor, maybe you’ll even get onto the single as a chorus member. Finally don’t forget practise makes perfect and that it certainly doesn’t do any harm to have some ‘practise runs’ before actually moving into production.