Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

The ultimate turn off?

I spend 2 hours a day on a bus commuting which means I regularly get to indulge my passion for people watching and by people watching I of course mean checking out and rating every woman that we pass. Now if the person who does actually read this blog is a woman, please don’t get all outraged and feminist on me, we all know that women are far worse at this than men. Men stick purely to the superficial level, women get bitchy and personal and not just about men, you even rate and judge each other.

But I digress whilst enjoying the views on the bus today it occurred to me that there is one thing above all else that can instantly take a woman from ‘very tasty’ to ‘not even with yours’.

That thing dear reader is smoking.

Broken cigarrette

Image via Wikipedia

There could be a sure fire ‘10’ walking down the street on the scale of Rachel Weiz or Scarlett Johansson or Eva Green and the second they pull out a cigarette and light up any feeling or lust is gone, extinguished forever. I don’t know if it’s the act itself or the smell or the standing around in dirty smoking areas but for me it’s the ultimate turn off. Nothing else does this to me on such a consistent basis and thankfully it seems like following the introduction of the smoking ban in pubs etc the smoking culture in Britain has reduced.

Now I know that there are probably plenty of worse habits or traits and no doubt you could quickly list 5 or 6 but this is my one big fat no way.

In the interest of balance the opposite of this is the one, guaranteed turn on. For me it is a smile. A fabulous, happy, care free smile can turn my insides to jelly and set my heart racing. One smile and I’m transfixed, not wanting to look away, mesmerized by a single look. As the lady of the manor know’s oh to well it’s the one thing that will make me say pretty much yes to anything. No doubt also something that Matilda will hook on to very quickly whenever she wants daddy to do something.


  1. I bet your wife will love to know that you sit and check out other women on the bus 🙂

    But yes, smoking is minging. I should know – I was a smoker although I was oblivious at the time, as those otherwise stunners will be now.

  2. Nah it’s ok, perfectly allowed under the rules of marriage…. interestingly she was a smoker when we first met 🙂

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