Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

Would you go for a pint with me?

Laura from Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy tagged me in this meme, seems to be quite a popular one judging by the posts over the last week. I think that maybe because it’s a bit different and reveals some interesting insights about the author. The idea is to respond to the regular Q&A questions from the Guardian magazine. So here are my responses:

When were you happiest?

My wedding day, truly a perfect day. We did it on a budget but I honestly don’t think it could have been improved if we had thrown money at it. We married in the church in the village where my wife grew up, walked from the church to a marquee on the cricket field next door. The weather was perfect, the food was amazing, we had a choccywoccydoda cake and every guest was someone who meant something to us, no making up the numbers.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Clearly as a fool I have a few of these, the most recent was the dog wee’ing on an antique chair while at an antiques fair. Of course not forgetting having to wear a pink bikini for the whole weekend on my stag.

Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?

With my own money it has to be my car, commonly known as the fire engine; a bright red Mitsubishi Outlander. I absolutely love it and its perfect for the expanding family. With someone elses money it would be large amounts of currency in my job, its amazing how blasé you get about millions…

What’s your most treasured possession?

If this means what would I least like to lose, then it would be my wedding ring. I did once though, for about 10 minutes. Suddenly realised one morning that I wasn’t wearing it, frantically searched the house for it and re-traced my steps to no avail. Then with a flash of inspiration I checked my tub of hair gel (I had hair at this point, a blink and you miss it moment) and there it was, somehow it had got caught in the lid and fallen in there.  Aside from my wedding ring it would be my phone (HTC Desire Z), feel lost with Android and Tweetdeck on the move.

Where would you like to live?

I flip between a few options; large Victorian detached house somewhere in the English countryside, Vancouver where I spent an amazing GAP year, Scottish Highlands, Melbourne or perhaps New Zealand (our trip in September will confirm that)

What’s your favourite smell?

That fresh, earthy smell just after a big thunderstorm, so refreshing after the humidity.

Who would play you in a film of your life?

Nicholas Lindhurst, I was often known as Rodney while in my teenage years. Something to do with the blonde hair and gangly legs I think.

What is your favourite book?

Lord of the Rings, I made an effort to fit reading this into my schedule at university (which was hard with 10 hours of lessons a week..) just before the films came out. One of the few books that has had me addicted and desperate to find out what happens next.

What is your most unappealing habit?

Picking my nose, it’s more fun that blowing though isn’t it?

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

Every man loves dressing like a woman, my rugby club went on tour to Toronto and we wore dresses for the whole flight out there. Must have looked very bizarre seeing 20 grown men walking around in womens clothing.

What is your earliest memory?

Being pushed up the hill in my push chair with the rain cover on, must have been 2 or 3 I would guess.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

A single malt whisky, my latest obsession, a wee dram on the rocks is a great way to finish the day.

What do you owe your parents?

My hair – my mum for the colour and my dad for the fact that it’s falling out.

To whom would you like to say sorry and why?

To the lady of the manor, no doubt there is something I should be apologising for.

What does love feel like?

A little warm monster inside you that will eat you up unless you feed it hugs and kisses.

What was the best kiss of your life?

The one from the lady of the manor just after Matilda was born.

Which words or phrases do you most over use?

Right, at the end of the day, would you like a cup of tea love?

What is the worst job you have ever done?

B&Q checkouts has to be up there, lots of pissed off people coming in on a Saturday because they’ve screwed up a DIY job and now need to spend a fortune fixing it. That job sucked the life out of me.

If you could edit your past what would you change?

Nothing, I’m not big on regrets, you have to be pragmatic, it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.

What is the closest you have come to death?

I touched a live wire when changing a light fitting the other day, jumped half way across the room!

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Matilda, god himself couldn’t have created a more perfect little baby. Perfecting dippy eggs and soldiers is a close second though.

When did you last cry and why?

I had a little tear in my eye when Matilda was born, but proper cry would have been last year when we had a miscarriage. A very dark few days that was.

How do you relax?

Go for a run, THE best way to clear your mind. Absolutely nothing better.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

A dishwasher, I loathe washing up but hate seeing dishes sitting in the sink.

What is the most important lesson that life has taught you?

The grass isn’t greener on the other side, you should remember and cherish what you have not what you don’t

So did I pass, now that I have revealed all do would you go for a pint with me?


  1. Great answers! After three years of washing up I love our dishwasher but I also miss the therapeutic nature of looking out over the garden whilst washing up.

    … And are you planning a move?

    • Maybe, we’ve always talked of going abroad and better to do it now before Matilda gets older. NZ seems to fit the bill of what we want so will be an interesting holiday. I love England, but the lifestyle is a bit depressing at times.

  2. That was really interesting
    My dad lost his wedding ring a couple of weeks after he was married. They lived in a small town at the time and when he couldn’t find it they aired an ad on the local radio!! It did turn up….in the finger of his work gloves! One very embarrassed newly wed they tell me.

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