Mutterings of a Fool

Man, Dad, Runner, Chief dog walker

You can’t do that, you have a baby

The pregnancy process for us has been exciting, nerve wracking, jaw dropping amazing and a roller coaster of ups and downs. As you probably well know it’s also something that EVERYONE has an opinion on. Now I don’t mind this, it’s fun chatting to people about their experiences and telling them when it’s due etc; but there are 2 particular reactions from people that quite honestly piss me off.

First is when people say “you’d better get your sleep in now then”, I mean seriously, what are we supposed to do? It’s not like you can bank your sleep is it? Or did I miss that lesson at school where the secret was shared? Perhaps they are thinking of grizzly bears? Plus of course if the lady of the manor is breastfeeding then there’s no point me getting up is there, I might as well get my sleep 🙂

Ursus arctos middendorffi /kodiak bear/ Kodiakbär

Image via Wikipedia

The second reaction is when you mention doing anything in the next year other than staying home tending to your babies every need. I have heard on numerous occasions a response of “you can’t do that, you’ll have a baby”. Ok, I get it, life will change somewhat, no more taking hard drugs or night clubs until 2am (like I did that anyway) but life goes on. Maybe I’m being a little naive and will think differently in  a month or 2, but you can’t stop doing things just because you have children. In fact it perhaps justifying doing more so your child can see what’s out there in the world.

My brother and I have started planning our holiday for summer 2012, he had his first child in November so will also have a toddler by then and friends of his are also due this week. So the 6 adults and 3 toddlers will hopefully be going to France for a couple of weeks, which is just perfect really, cuts the cost down and we’ll all be looking for the same things from a holiday. But when I told some colleagues this they were horrified; is it child safe they asked, plus how will you transport all your stuff there? Well, there aren’t any fast flowing rivers and the house doesn’t appear to have knives everywhere so I think we’ll be alright. Plus we all own cars which may well get packed to the ceiling but I reckon we’ll manage. I know that the children will be active by then, but we’re not exactly going to just leave them on their own are we? We can take stair gates if we need them and travel cots pack down small enough these days.

But that’s not all to cap it all off we’re going to New Zealand in September for 3 weeks. The bean will be 5 months old, as long as the flights go ok I think we’ll be fine and just think of the adventure, might take some Calpol though…..

So what do you think? A disillusioned first time parent who has no idea how hard it’s going to be or a realistic parent who isn’t going to stop living just because they have a baby? What adventures have you had since becoming a parent? Any top tips for keeping normality to life?

10 Comments

  1. If 6 adults can’t look after 3 toddlers I’d be questioning why they had kids at all!!
    2 adults 1 child no problem. Things change though when it’s 3 kids 1 adult. Initially you have to make sacrifices, adjustments but doesn’t mean you can’t do it (within reason). Lucky for your little one that they’re going to so many opportunities ahead of them.

  2. I love this – so funny!! Obviously can’t offer you answers, but you know what is right for you.

  3. I’d be lying if I said having children doesn’t change your life because it really does and it’s quite hard to understand until that little one comes along. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing though. Having a baby will soon become your ‘norm’ and it will hard to imagine life without them and yes, as much as children can fit in around your life and not the other way around, sometimes it is the other way around but that’s not a bad thing – just different. And becoming a new parent is about embracing those changes I think.
    That said, I think it is great that you are making plans like you are – the group holiday in particular will be absolutely fab!
    Great post x

  4. I think the holiday sounds great!

  5. As a completely mad parent of 3 small boys I will say that life will never be the same again – but it is an amazing journey! It is very tiring, that is true, but worth it! As for the rest, just go with what you want to do – drugs and alcohol aren’t good for babies – and you will be fine! Holidays sound wonderful!
    Can’t wait to hear about the new arrival .
    Anna

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